"I know the best is yet to come!" Christiane Northrup, MD, age 65, women's health guru

"Really?! She seriously believes that??" Me, age 58, upon hearing her comment

Let me tell you, I was pretty shocked at myself. After all, I work with women over 50, helping them tap into their spiritual center-- the timeless, ageless, divine part of themselves-- and then live their lives from there. The rewards are tremendous: self-acceptance and self-kindness, curiosity and openness to the future, and a new claim of power and purpose. I love my life at 58 and imagine a rich and full life ahead of me!
So, really, why did Dr. Northrup’s statement trip me up?
I often share with clients that long-held assumptions seem true because we have believed them for so long. We accept them as fact. We don’t even know that they are there and the effect they have on the decisions we make in our lives.
When we identify and question these assumptions, we can let go of beliefs that
a) aren’t necessarily true, and b) no longer serve us.
So I asked myself, “What are some of my assumptions about my 60’s, 70’s and beyond?”
Here are three:
Assumption #1: Nothing can top being a hands-on mom and that part of my life is done. Hmmm, It’s true that the hands-on mom part of my life is done. But do I really know for sure that that is the best part of my life? No, I don’t. For example, I know grandmothers who say that grandmotherhood tops parenthood…
Assumption #2: My creaky knees will get creakier and will not let me do what I love. I love walking and hiking in nature; it is a big part of my spiritual practice because it centers me and fills me with gratitude.
Do I know for sure that my knees will stop me from doing what I love? Well, no. My knees have been creaky for a long time and they actually aren’t any worse than they were 10 years ago and creakiness hasn’t stopped me so far…
Assumption #3: Old age equals small life. I see my parents at 85 and 86 and worry that my life will become narrow like theirs.
Do I know this for sure? Well, first of all, I don’t even think they would necessarily consider their lives narrow. They seem pretty content. Second of all, I have absolutely no idea what my life will look like at 85.
So, back to Dr. Northrup’s statement, “I know the best is yet to come.”
Do I know for sure the best is yet to come? No.
Do I know for sure that the best is behind me? Absolutely not.
So why not live as though the best may very well be ahead of me? This thought adds lightness to my day. It increases my optimism. It lifts my energy. And in this frame of mind, I will look for ways to make it come true.
Here is my wish for you: May the best be yet to come in your life too.

Here’s the thing:

I didn’t like my face anymore.

Every time I looked in the mirror I grimaced at my refection. I scrutinized the sun lines in my cheeks and the deep smile lines around my eyes. I was merciless in my assessment and disappointed with myself each and every time. Why wasn’t my younger self looking back at me? Where was she and how could I get her back? Part of me knew the impossibility of this desire. Part of me felt vain and ridiculous for wishing it. And that just made me feel worse.

When I was younger, I never thought I would be this woman. I took my face for granted, prided myself in being casual about my looks, not spending much time readying my face for the day. And yet, here I was, standing in line for the next miracle skin cream, all in hopes of coaxing the younger me back to the the mirror.

And then one day, out of the blue, I had a genuine “aha” moment. I looked in the mirror and decided to smile at myself. Instead of scanning for deepening wrinkles, I looked into my own eyes. And there we all were: my younger self, my current self, and my beautiful inner timeless self. You know how it feels to share a loving smile with a cherished friend? Where your eyes kind of dance with happiness? That’s what happened. And that’s just how it felt: being held in a loving exchange.Now I practice that smile-in-the-mirror exercise most days. I whole-heartedly recommend it.

The How To:

Hold your own gaze in the mirror. You may be tempted to scan around your eyes, forehead, cheeks for imperfections, but gently return to capturing your own gaze. Breathe, relax and smile. Notice the liveliness, the beauty, and the love shining in those eyes. You radiant, gorgeous, smiling-right-back-at-you you! Congratulations! You just made your own day!