Mary Oliver (poet):
When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms…
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.”
Me:
Did I really just spend an hour looking at Jimmy Fallon clips on YouTube?!
Do you ever crave that bust-out “I am alive!!” feeling that Mary Oliver’s poem evokes? That one where all your senses are buzzing and your heart is full-to-bursting and you are just so glad to be on this planet at this moment?
But even as you long for it, you don’t know how to get it and you catch yourself whiling away time even though you know that it is finite and precious?
Me too.
But I have made a discovery that has shifted everything for me. I’d like to share it with you, and Jimmy Fallon and Mary Oliver are going to help me do it.
I used to think that in order to qualify as Mary Oliver’s Bride or Bridegroom I needed to have “Pacific Ocean at Sunset on the Summer Solstice” kind of moments—those peak experiences that are rare and hard to come by.
Enter Jimmy Fallon. He helped me redefine the Bride/Bridegroom moment.
Here’s how:
I noticed that I can watch Jimmy Fallon in one of two ways. See if you feel the energetic difference between the two.
The first way, I am kind of bored, feeling a little dissatisfied. I get on YouTube and click around. I figure I might as well see what Jimmy’s up to. Sure, I enjoy his latest clip but I also feel a tiny bit bad, even guilty that I am wasting time online. I wonder why I am doing it, even as I continue to do it. In this scenario, instead of feeling like the sparkling bride, I feel more like a stand-in bridesmaid awkwardly wearing an uncomfortable dress in an unfortunate color.
The second way, I deliberately go looking for Jimmy’s latest sketch because chances are, he is going to make me laugh, and I love to laugh. When I am watching, I am all in. I am heartily and heartfully enjoying it.
Yep, Jimmy and I are having a moment.
When I realized that a Mary Oliver moment could involve a late night talk show host, my definition expanded enormously. I understood that it could be a small thing that fueled my sense of connection to Life, and much of my experience of the moment depended on how I approached it. This change in perception made me available for small things to sweep me off my feet, which, of course, they promptly did.
Now I have multiple Mary Oliver moments daily.
For example, just this week, I got that heart-full-to-bursting feeling when I noticed the beautiful faces of the women, many in their 50’s and 60’s, sitting quietly in meditation in yoga class, (yes, I peeked.) Later, I was flooded with gratitude while talking to my best friend on the phone even when we weren’t talking about anything special. (All I could think was, “I am so happy you are in my life!) And a few minutes ago, I felt my heart open watching the breeze play in the trees outside my window.
Thank you Mary and Jimmy for helping me embrace small wonders!
Just watch! The next time you recognize a beautiful, small moment, you are going to take it in your arms like a dazzled bridegroom. You are going to love being married to Amazement!